'I've found something I didn't expect': Advice from first time fathers
There are books, podcasts, and endless advice from friends and family, yet many dads say they find welcoming their first child an overwhelming time.
Becoming a dad for the first time is a huge life experience and nothing can quite prepare you for the reality of it.
There are books, podcasts, and endless advice from friends and family, yet many dads can still find it an overwhelming time, along with joy, exhaustion, and adjustment all wrapped into one.
We spoke with four first-time fathers about one thing they wish they’d known before entering the wild and wonderful world of fatherhood.
Daniel Kerr and his wife Danielle had been trying for a number of years to have a baby and now consider their baby Ella as a ‘miracle’.
Independent Republican Councillor in the Mid Ulster District Council area of Northern Ireland, Kerr, 35, has been a dad since July, 2024, and says he wishes he had known “the years of disappointment and sadness of trying for a family is well worth the wait.
He adds: “I would reach out to other parents going through these struggles to be patient as the happiness far outweighs the sadness when it is your turn for a miracle to happens.
“I also wish I had known about the great sacrifice a mother has to make leading up to birth. I have a great more amount of respect for what women have to endure during pregnancy in comparison to men.”
Adam Bridge, who had a baby girl on October 5 last year, says he wishes he had known that it is OK for fathers to talk to each other.
“Before my daughter was born, I struggled in of being able to understand what was going on,” Bridge says. “Obviously I had my girlfriend to talk to things about but being able to speak to other dads and realise there are lots of us in the same boat and who are willing to talk, helped a lot.
“I think traditionally, mothers are a bit more clued up on pregnancy and having children. For me in particular, I am a practical learner and I actually learned a lot by going and asking other dads questions. I thinking I could have done with having a social media presence from a dad to give their experience, which actually lead me to creating my own platform,” says UK-based Bridge, who now has his own social media page firsttimedadam.
Nana Osei-Twum had his baby girl in January and says he wishes he knew “how deep and transformative the experience would be”.
The 32-year-old London bus driver says: “I absolutely love being a father. There’s a kind of wonder in watching this little person grow, discovering the world one wide-eyed moment at a time, and knowing I get to be their safe place.
“But with that love comes a powerful sense of responsibility. I’ve learned that as a dad, I can’t afford to feel helpless - not because I won’t feel it sometimes, but because I know my steadiness matters. Even when I’m tired, uncertain, or overwhelmed, I have to be present, proactive and calm - not just for my child, but for the mother of my child, who is navigating just as many emotions and expectations as I am.
“Being there for her is one of the most important parts of being a good father. ing her, truly showing up for her, means more than just splitting tasks - it’s about seeing her, affirming her, and easing her load.
“I’ve realised that caring for my child and caring for their mother are not separate duties; they’re deeply connected. When she feels ed, the whole family becomes stronger. And in the midst of all the chaos, love, and learning, I’ve found something I didn’t expect: this role, as demanding as it can be, fills me with purpose. Fatherhood isn’t just something I do - it’s something I cherish.”
Michael Cairns, 30, who had his daughter, Sienna in April 2021, says he previously thought being a good dad meant “knowing everything”.
The Northumberland-based dentist says: “For example, I thought I needed to know all the developmental stages and what should happen when. But I think it’s important not to get bogged down in details. Instead, be willing to show up for your child on a daily basis, be willing to learn, adapt and just enjoy the precious gift life has given you. It will be the happiest and funniest time of your life when you accept that.”
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